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Wife of a Stage 4-5 CKD patient

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  • Wife of a Stage 4-5 CKD patient

    My husband has so many health issues but the last one of Stage 4-5 CKD and severe Anemia are the last diagnosis we are dealing with. He is in denial about the seriousness of his illness and is not watching his diet as carefully as he should. When we talk about his diet it leads to arguments so I have more or less given up on mentioning the diet. Because of the severe Anemia he is very fatigued but pushes himself to work around the house. He is in denial - what to do?

  • #2
    I am new. This dialysis thing is working for me and I know my lord is going to heal me. I have one problem I would like to solve, I want to determine very simply the content of the big 4 at nearly a glance. I need to be able to quickly and simply determine the impact of seasonings or sauces on a meal and serving, particularly how the affect the big 4. For example salad dressings or meat sauces and their affect along with the cumulative effect on the grams of phosphorus or potassium.


    • #3
      Hi...denial is a hard nut to crack...possibly fear due to other illnesses and feeling overwhelmed? There is No Way to Make Your Husband "do something that he is fighting or avoiding"...just leads to more frustration and anger...I learned this well from my son, at 23 he just doesn't want to listen or do what he "knows" is the right thing to do.

      There is considerable information online per stage 4/5 kidney disease, if he is in stage 4 it's Not Too Late to reverse and improve his gfr level. I've done this! having only one kidney, my gfr went to 23, now it is at 32, on Thursday I'll be seeing my nephrologist for the first time in 5 months...I'm hoping for more good news.

      As for you and what you can do, here is The Most Important aspect of kidney disease: Protein intake and Water intake.
      When my gfr was at 23, I could only eat 40grams of protein daily. Currently I drink at least 60 oz of fluids per doesn't count cause it's a diuretic.

      This is a full page of info about increasing red blood cells to reduce endemic symptoms.

      These three foods avoid, high potassium, salt and phosphorous. Personally I avoid dairy products, red meat, and stick to proportions of 10 grams of protein per each meal...for instance an egg has 7 grams, two slices of toast has 4 grams. Use fruits to fill up on...also drinking water will help to fill up the stomach and reduce eating...No Chocolate and No Cola soda.

      If you have any questions, I'll do my best to answer. I'd offer to have a 'mediator' asking your husbands nephrologist to place a referral to a renal dietitian...then 'you'd be off the hook"

      Take care, ml


      • #4
        Denial is tough. My boyfriend is 57 and has been on dialysis for 3 1/2 years. He is ESRD (stage 5 I believe) His kidneys quit functioning due to a bladder issue, by the time he was taken to the ER he should of been dead according to the doctors. They cleansed his blood x3 hoping to reverse it, but to no avail. Heís at least not missing his dialysis treatments anymore like he was when we first met. He drinks and eats anything he wants. Heís a junk food junkie. He only likes corn for a vegetable and is not a big fruit eater. Mainly he consumes processed foods, lots of butter, cheeses and lunch meats with tons of bread. He drinks lots of alcohol (bourbon and beer) and Pepsi. Iím a retired nurse so I understand the importance of following a renal diet. Iím stuck like you with someone either in great denial or just plain stubborn. I feel helpless too. I try and give him all the tools to make better choices for himself. Whatís the old saying, (you can take a horse to water, but you canít make him drink it). His denial and noncompliance almost drove me crazy. Itís hard to watch your loved one basically increasing his risks and you canít do nothing but watch. Iíve learned over time that heís going to do what he wants. I can be here for him and offer my advice whether he wants it or not. Iíll never stop. Praying someday he hears me. I see him getting sicker daily, but he says ďIím fineĒ (his famous line).
        I guess what Iíd tell you is to get yourself some support to help you cope with everything. Iím not sure how long we have I try and make the most of it. I wonder how long heíll survive living like this without any consequences. Iím scared, feel helpless, upset and very worried 😥 I wish I could be more positive for you..sorry


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