Family/Caregiver learning to cope

[VehementAngel]

I just found out about a week ago that my father is level four. I knew it was serious because he told me he was basicly a step away from needing a transplant or dialysis. I looked at him and told him if we are a match i would give him one of mine.....i would just be running to the bathroom a lot more then normal (I always have been the one to joke in serious to gloom situations to bring a slight smile to someones face). He refused and told me he wasn't doing either. If he were to go he was just going.
I did not realize how bad this is. I knew it was bad, but I didn't think it was worse. My suprise came when I started reading up on basic info to find out what medications he could and could not take, diet plans (i needed to get him helping his kidneys out), signs to look for, etc. My jaw dropped. He has been experiencing much of these problems for a while, but I couldn't tell one if it was from the disease or from other issues affecting his life. He told me the doctors just caught it in a test they ran on him recently.
My sister told me tonight, works in the healthcare industery, that she has seen a lot of people with this, and the ugly of it. I was crying for an hour. It is something i rather not have my child and my father see. I really don't know how to cope with the fact that my father has level 4 kidney disease. I'm ready to help his kidneys out, and see what options we have out there to help with his anxiety, restlessness, pain (joint and muscle), etc. The way he talks the doctors have not given him much info on his condition and to add to it hes diabetic, HBP, ceasers, etc.
Any advice? Sites? Doctors that works for military in veteran hospitals or offices?
Thank you for taking the time to read this, and a lot of you repeating the advice you have given to others.
God Bless.

Elizabeth

[judi1975]

Hello Vehementangel,

So sorry to read about your father.I am stage 4 also I have been going on 5 years as of this year.When i had my biopsy on July 9th 2010 I was already stage 3 and progressed quickly to stage 4 the same year.Where i have been ever sense,but with proper diets and excerise your dad can live a long time.He will feel tired quickly and often especially being that his kidney GFR is between 15%-29%.At 15% he should be having a transplant depending on your nephrologist.and if he has an access.Because last year at time i was 17% and I was scared cause I have NO acess for dialysis.Because my nephrologist wants to get me transplanted before I ever need dialysis.

It will all work out for you and your dad.

Judi

[joycepio]

My husband is a vet too. He has both civilian docs and VA docs. The civilian docs looked at his labs and clucked thier tongues but did nothing. The VA doc had him sent to the hospital by ambulance. That was just a year ago. He was in end stage renal failure. If she had not sent him to the hospital his other docs may have ignored the numbers long enough for him to die. Four of his docs told me to make plans and get him into hospice because he would not last through the summer. Dialysis saved his life. It is the best thing that could be done for him. If the doctors tell your Dad he needs dialysis, do everything you can to get him to do it. Last June we started training for home hemodialysis. For us it has been wonderful. He isn't exposed to infections at the center, we dialize him 6 days a week so he feel really good. He can eat and drink a more normal diet. At the center he left dialysis feeling exhausted. Not so at home. He gets up from dailysis and goes out to do things. He could work if he weren't retired. It takes a lot of my time, about 40 hours a week. Any one with normal intelligence can do it. And the dialysis companies do everything to make it work. Good luck to your Dad.

[charmedonesh]

My father-in-law age is 89 was just sent home from the hospital last week he has always known about his kidneys but does not want any dialysis so they sent him home with mom and hospice can you give me any kind of time line that he might have without this.I am worried about my Mother-in-law and sister-in-law specialty my husband.

[cindsyssdzp]

The civilian docs looked at his labs and clucked thier tongues but did nothing. The VA doc had him sent to the hospital by ambulance. trailer repair

[pahpah20]

quite sad. But then we'll get used to it Spades