Mom having rough start!

[Guest]

My Mom is 83 years young and very active and independent-(until kidney failure set in). Both my sister and myself live in NY and NJ . 2 weeks ago my Mom had to be admitted to a hospital, she recieved 4 treatments in 4 days. She is now home and my sister and myself have been traveling back and forth to help her get started at the clinic. Her problem is she has high blood pressure and the cuff on her arm is such a fear for her. She refuses t come up by us and I'm wondering if she will adjust? She goes to the clinic 3 times a week and has a 3 hr treatment. By the time she gets there and is home it is really more like 4 1/4 hours. She has a 3pm appint but really needs earlier in the day since we can't be there 24/7. The clinic is telling us there is a waiting list for earlier, even the Dr. recommended earlier. Should I contact the Dr. to get her in earlier since the Dr. is affliated with this clinic. I am emotionally drained and trying my best to help her. I go down to Fl almost every week from Sun to Weds. I also have to work to pay my bills. Her nefrologist wants her to try PD, but we don't know if she can handle this. She does have home health and she is entitled to someone to be with her all night if she goes toward the PD. Or is she better off the 3 days a week. As you can tell I am so torn with everything. If anyone is in the same position please advise any words of wisdom will help me at this point. The good thing is she is a fighter but I'm so worried and anxious all the time. HELP...

[Guest]

Earlier Clinic Times

The earlier times and wait listing is very common. The doctor really doesn't have anything to say about it since there is a limited number of chairs available and so many dialysis clients. My husband had to wait until someone left a time slot to be able to move into that time slot. He found that 5:45am worked best for him. However, I can see that it wouldn't work in your monther's case. My husband moved to PD simply because he didn't like going to the center 3 times weekly for 4 hours each time. However, PD is 4 times daily EVERY day. He likes it much better and is getting ready to move to the cycler where you do it at night rather than through the day and the machine does the work. A lot has to be considered when moving to PD...sterile environment for exchanges; a person's willingness to take responsibility for exchanges and sticking to a schedule. Whatever you all decide, I wish you the best of luck.

[Guest]

hope this helps

I just wanted to say that i think you and your sister are wonderful for being by your moms side the way that you said that you 2 are. and i feel your pain about it being a bit trying on you and your sister because you to have things to do but you want to be there for your mom, well i don't know everything but I work at a center, i haven't worked there long but i've been there since jan and from what i know from hearing your concerns i would think that you should talk to the centers scocial worker and see what he/she could do to help you with the sceduleing problem but there are alot of people that want the earlier times so that does become a problem sometimes but not something that can't be taken care of, but from what i know if there is just no way possable to have her on an earlier time then you could also look into possably finding another center that is near where she lives from the divita web site and talk to the center director about your problem and see if they can take care of that for you, and as for her getting it done at home thats an option as well but from what i see if she is comeing to the center for treatment then every time she comes in her site is checked for infection and if it is infected it would be able to be taken care of quicker, and if the bath that they have her on needs to be adjusted to make her feel even better then what she feels after treatment it would be seen quicker, if she comes to the center she would have an on hand dieition to let her know about her progress and what she needs to work on , and worst case if any complications came about durring treatment if she was in center they could take care of it asap instead of haveing to wait for 911, I know you have alot to think about but i truely hope that what i've told you is of help to you in your decision. and i truely wish you and yours the best no matter what you deside to do...... sincerly

the_one

[Black]

My Mom is 83 years young and very active and independent-(until kidney failure set in). Both my sister and myself live in NY and NJ . 2 weeks ago my Mom had to be admitted to a hospital, she recieved 4 treatments in 4 days. She is now home and my sister and myself have been traveling back and forth to help her get started at the clinic. Her problem is she has high blood pressure and the cuff on her arm is such a fear for her. She refuses t come up by us and I'm wondering if she will adjust? She goes to the clinic 3 times a week and has a 3 hr treatment. By the time she gets there and is home it is really more like 4 1/4 hours. She has a 3pm appint but really needs earlier in the day since we can't be there 24/7. The clinic is telling us there is a waiting list for earlier, even the Dr. recommended earlier. Should I contact the Dr. to get her in earlier since the Dr. is affliated with this clinic. I am emotionally drained and trying my best to help her. I go down to Fl almost every week from Sun to Weds. I also have to work to pay my bills. Her nefrologist wants her to try PD, but we don't know if she can handle this. She does have home health and she is entitled to someone to be with her all night if she goes toward the PD. Or is she better off the 3 days a week. As you can tell I am so torn with everything. If anyone is in the same position please advise any words of wisdom will help me at this point. The good thing is she is a fighter but I'm so worried and anxious all the time. HELP...

My parents are in relatively good health at 80 and 88, so I can sympathize as I know what my sister and I go through when one of them is ill or hospitalized. Overcoming their denial is usually more than half the battle. Just do the best you can in making sure she makes educated decisions regarding her care.

Home dialysis may be better in her situation. In almost all cases home dialysis is much better than in clinic. Twenty percent of in clinic patients die each year. In ten years 70% of home dialysis patients are still alive. In addition to longer life, the quality of life is much improved with fewer complications and hospitalizations for home dialysis patients. Both HD and PD can be done at home. If I remember correctly there are 6 kinds of dialysis and 5 of those can be done at home. Do online research and ask a lot of questions when you see her nephrologist and social worker.

[halsonzammy2]

The doctor really doesn't have anything to say about it since there is a limited number of chairs available and so many dialysis clients. Mobile Truck Repair

[Adabubba]

I'm so sorry to hear about your mother's difficulties. It IS daunting to live far away from her. It's wonderful that you and your sister not only want to participate but try to participate as much as you can in your mother's care. I'm certain your mother is having a difficult time adjusting too since she has been so active and independent until dialysis. The fear that comes with ill health - the possibility of being told it's time to give up your home - is real. I'm glad she already has home health in place. I'm so sorry that you feel you don't have the information you need to truly help your mother. You are right that since you and your sister work in other states, you have obligations there that you cannot ignore, even though your heart wants to be with your mother. Do not neglect your own health. Even if your mother states that she wants to make her own decisions, what she really needs from you is to know how much you love her. I have no suggestions for you... just want you to know that you are not alone.

[elliswalker]

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