I hate to ask the question but...........

[Johnf]

My dad is 75 had has been in kidney failure since October. He has a very weak heart and the Dr. advised against dialysis because he didn't feel Dad could live through it. He's been steadily getting worse and worse. I live 3 hours away and go see him every weekend. The last 3 weeks have been a big change. He is only up for 10-15 minutest at a time when he has the energy to get up. He sleeps for about 45 minutes and then gets up on the side of the bed to catch his breath. This goes on all day and all night, so my mother hasn't slept in nearly a month. Mom says other than sitting up to catch his breath he's not been out of bed since I left on Sunday. He's about 6'2" and has gained probably 50-60lbs in fluid in the last month. He is swolen so bad that his skin has started crack and ooze fluid. He can no longer get his hearing aid in his ears and his eye lids are swelling so much he can't get his eyes open Mom keeps him clean but he smells really bad and his breath is horrible. He is so miserable and sad I just want to see it stop. My sister who has given up her life in the last few months is also there with dad constantly.
Is this the end for him? How long can this go on?

[Phil13]

I don't understand why his doctor wouldn't put him on dialysis. All that water wieght is very bad for him. It's probably causing congestive heart failure. My suggestion is to get him to another doctor for another opinion. I have an 78 year old women that just started dialysis in my group so his age should not be a factor in this decision. I don't think he'd last to much longer in this condition. Take him to an ER and see if they will help him if you have to. Good luck and keep us posted on his condition and what they're doing for him.

[poubis]

My Suggestion is to take him to another doctor NOW. No tomorrow, no later... He is in a horrible condition. plz. take another opinion very fast.

[Johnf]

I don't understand why his doctor wouldn't put him on dialysis. All that water wieght is very bad for him. It's probably causing congestive heart failure. My suggestion is to get him to another doctor for another opinion. I have an 78 year old women that just started dialysis in my group so his age should not be a factor in this decision. I don't think he'd last to much longer in this condition. Take him to an ER and see if they will help him if you have to. Good luck and keep us posted on his condition and what they're doing for him.

He had atrial-fib for several years and developed blood clots inside the chambers of his heart. From what I gathered when I was in with he and the drs.: over the years, the meds he was taking for his heart and for the blood clots started causing the kidney problems. Then when they put him on lasics (sp?) for his kidneys the meds reacted badly with his heart and both the heart and kidneys just started getting worse and worse. In late September he had some major heart events which did permanent damage. Dad has had conjestive heart failure for several years and was also a welder for much of his life and developed COPD. I was in the room with dad with the heart dr. and the kidney dr and both agreed that there was a 90%+ chance that he would die if he did dialysis. He and mom decided then that they would not do it. I don't think they were given any other options.

[Phil13]

My fiance had a client she took care of that this happened to. They didn't do dialysis either but they did do a blood transfusion for her. Even if they won't do that for him maybe he needs a transfusion as well. Last summer I had a severe case of anemia without knowing it. I became constantly exhausted couldn't keep food or liquids down, I didn't want to do anything due to the fact that walking 2 feet made me want to collaspe. So if they won't do dialysis I say get him to the dr's again and have blood work done to check his hemoglobin levels. It can make a wolrd of difference for him and his condition if that's what's wrong.

[alice54]

I am just so sorry for all that your dear parents and you and your sister are going through right now.

Your Dad has to be so miserable. I am new to CKD but I agree with others get another doctors opinion and perhaps take him to the hospital since his skin is cracking.
My brother has had a severe heart conditon all of his life. He is 82 and going on his third year with dialysis. The first year was difficult but he put in a garden last summer. I feel there has to be some help for your Dad with the fluid build up so he will at least know comfort.

My best to all of you..please keep us updated..he is blessed to have caring children..alice

[Johnf]

I talked to my mom and another sister again. I'm just reaching for straws right now. My dad watched my brother in law go down hill for 8 years on dalysis. They did discuss Peritoneal Dialysis when he went into hospice care, but failed to meet the conditions because of his poor health. They didn't feel like he could live through that or the process of regular dialysis. He was on major blood thinners because of the blood clots and they were afraid to do anything.

[Johnf]

I am just so sorry for all that your dear parents and you and your sister are going through right now.

Your Dad has to be so miserable. I am new to CKD but I agree with others get another doctors opinion and perhaps take him to the hospital since his skin is cracking.
My brother has had a severe heart conditon all of his life. He is 82 and going on his third year with dialysis. The first year was difficult but he put in a garden last summer. I feel there has to be some help for your Dad with the fluid build up so he will at least know comfort.

My best to all of you..please keep us updated..he is blessed to have caring children..alice

If we take him to the hospital mom loses the hopice care and nurse that she has right now.

[alice54]

Dear John,

Please make sure about Hospice. With my husband I was told Hospice would follow him to the hospital and/or the NH...I was able to keep him at home so do not know if that would have happened.. I know it is different every where.

You are in a difficult place please be kind to your self knowing your doing the best that you can. Since you have Hospice I know they are making sure of your Dad's comfort. I am not a nurse or doctor but seems like the blood clots may be why your Dad can't have dialysis.
Perhaps the most important thing for your Dad right now is knowing comfort and the love of his caring family.

My heart goes out to your dear Mother I understand how heart breaking this is for her...give her some extra HUGS. I am thankful she has sweet children and a Hospice nurse this is such a comfort to her.

My prayers..get some rest...alice

[nanbridg]

If he is involved with Hospice ask them about medication to ease his discomfort maybe something for anxiety also pain this is well within Hospice duties