Is a caregiver necessary?

[Tina S]

Hi, my mother-in-law is in CKD stage 5; she has about 15 % of the kidney function left. The doctor expects her to be on dialysis this year. She is 69 years old. My husband and I live in Maryland and she lives in Connecticut by herself. We have asked and prepared for her to move to Maryland and live with us so we can take care of her. However, she really wants to stay in Connecticut.

From everything I have read about dialysis, I don't see how she can do this on her own. She plans on using in-center hemo dialysis.

My question to those of you who are caregivers or who have a caregiver, what is the reality of being able to handle dialysis and day to day living by yourself?

Thanks, Tina.

[angieskidney]

It is possible to do it alone if she is doing in center. I did in center and I live alone .. however I am half her age. Still, it is possible and many people on dialysis feel a loss of control in their lives so it is important that she feels that she has as much control over things that will make her happy as possible.

Have you talked with her medical team to find out if they think she will do just fine? How do you feel about it?

Hi, my mother-in-law is in CKD stage 5; she has about 15 % of the kidney function left. The doctor expects her to be on dialysis this year. She is 69 years old. My husband and I live in Maryland and she lives in Connecticut by herself. We have asked and prepared for her to move to Maryland and live with us so we can take care of her. However, she really wants to stay in Connecticut.

From everything I have read about dialysis, I don't see how she can do this on her own. She plans on using in-center hemo dialysis.

My question to those of you who are caregivers or who have a caregiver, what is the reality of being able to handle dialysis and day to day living by yourself?

Thanks, Tina.

[Tina S]

No, we haven’t talked to her medical team yet. I suggested that my husband go up for her next nephrologist appointment and discuss this issue. He hasn’t agreed to yet. We live in MD and she is in CT, but he goes up on the weekends twice a month and could take off from work.

I know her doctor has asked her point blank, if she has made a decision about moving.

I am torn. The initial points that you made about feeling a loss of control is the primary argument against her moving and I agree with it. However, we are worried that she will become severely depressed while alone and fade quite quickly.

Lately, she has been trying to make the decision about in center hemo or at home peritoneal. She mentions wanting to take day trips and drive herself to dialysis, however, she rarely has taken day trips while healthy (prior to diagnosis and during CKD stages). She has also never driven herself more than 20 miles from her home and has never pumped her own gas, so in many ways she is not as self-determined as some people. Although, maybe the kidney disease is motivating her. I’m really not sure. Thanks for your response. The point about age is an important one too that bothers me. The elderly don’t always do well with solitude regardless of health conditions.

[roycare]

I would overwhelmingly recommend PD! Although it's kind of a pain to be teathered overnight, it's so much better than being stuck 3x a week and being totally drained (no pun intended) after a session. I am a little younger than her, but not much and I had no problem with it. I received some home health and for those days I just couldn't do my daily routine, I hired a caregiver thru www.carejourney.com. It was pretty easy. I filled in my profile and they matched me with someone. Then I did a background check and hired them!

Hope that helps - it is definitely doable...