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  1. #1
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    Red face CKD and Depression

    [B][not sure that I am posting correctly, but read on] Hello, I am 36 years old and living the ckd. At the moment I am stage 4 and very afraid of what lays ahead. My family is very supportive of me, but regardless of that, I have fallen into a big depression (I think) and spend a lot of time thinking about my death rather than taking better care of my health. I skip taking my medicine often, gained weight and hardly exercise. I guess my question would be where do I find inspiration to continue fighting this disease? I know what you are going to say, but the love that I have for my children and my family does not seem to inspire me enough to want to fight this and it seems that the depression that I have allowed to set in is more damaging than my ckd. If you have any words that can help me or if you have been in this situation, please pass on a word of encouragement, I have to get better.

  2. #2
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    Re: CKD and Depression

    Mine was just a determination not to let a chicken **** disease like CKD affect my life. I spend about 4 hours total, 3 days a week on dialysis. Otherwise, life is pretty normal. I don;t feel depressed...just relieved that I can continue a normal life.
    Whatever does not kill me makes me stronger...Neitzsche
    Flip

  3. #3
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    Re: CKD and Depression

    Welcome Frannie1160. Please do not feel as though you are alone. Many people can attest to feeling very depressed when first diagnosed with ckd. When I was in stage 4 the fear of the unknown consumed me and I went 'round and 'round in my head as to what my fate would be. Are you currently being treated for depression? It is nothing to be ashamed of. I was on a mild anti-depressant and anti-anxiety at first and that helped me to get out of my head and stop thinking the worst. What we usually conjure up is worse than what's in store. There are many intelligent people on this site that can educate you as to what to expect. It's not that bad after a while and dialysis just becomes a part of your everyday life. Truly. I would also get moving even if it's just up the street and back to get those endorphines going to fight the depression. Attitude is 99% of living with this disease. Many people live a very full life. You have a family that loves you. That's a great place to start. And, realize that you have a lot to offer. Especially to yourself. So kick this thing in the butt, let it know who's boss. Get your depression under control, get educated about what to expect, take your meds and know that you are not alone. I was diagnosed when I was 38. It gets better. I hope this helps and hope to hear from you soon. God bless...

  4. #4
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    Re: CKD and Depression

    Quote Originally Posted by flipw View Post
    Mine was just a determination not to let a chicken **** disease like CKD affect my life. I spend about 4 hours total, 3 days a week on dialysis. Otherwise, life is pretty normal. I don;t feel depressed...just relieved that I can continue a normal life.
    Thank you for your reply. I'm not on dialysis yet, but am talking to my doctor about and she says that I should prepare myself for this posibility in the near future. Pardon me for asking, but are you able to continue working while on dialysis? This is one of the things that I am concern about.

  5. #5
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    Re: CKD and Depression

    Quote Originally Posted by Samson'sMom View Post
    Welcome Frannie1160. Please do not feel as though you are alone. Many people can attest to feeling very depressed when first diagnosed with ckd. When I was in stage 4 the fear of the unknown consumed me and I went 'round and 'round in my head as to what my fate would be. Are you currently being treated for depression? It is nothing to be ashamed of. I was on a mild anti-depressant and anti-anxiety at first and that helped me to get out of my head and stop thinking the worst. What we usually conjure up is worse than what's in store. There are many intelligent people on this site that can educate you as to what to expect. It's not that bad after a while and dialysis just becomes a part of your everyday life. Truly. I would also get moving even if it's just up the street and back to get those endorphines going to fight the depression. Attitude is 99% of living with this disease. Many people live a very full life. You have a family that loves you. That's a great place to start. And, realize that you have a lot to offer. Especially to yourself. So kick this thing in the butt, let it know who's boss. Get your depression under control, get educated about what to expect, take your meds and know that you are not alone. I was diagnosed when I was 38. It gets better. I hope this helps and hope to hear from you soon. God bless...
    Thank you for your reply. No I am not been treated for my depression, in fact is not something that I have told my doctor, I've told my husband and my mom. My husband thinks that depression is not real, that I should try and do things for myself, i.e. exercise, eat healthier and pray. My mother things I should go talk to someone and pray. I feel like everything is just so hard to start doing. You see, aside from my CKD, I have had two mini strokes, a historectomy (not sure if I spelled it correctly), four surgery to remove dermoid cysts, and other minor surgeries. I have practically been hospitalized for one reason or another at least twice a year since 1995. I already know that is not an excuse to let myself go, but I just kind of did. Tomorrow I will be 36 years old and I have made myself a promise to fake it until I get it - meaning, I will take my meds everyday on a timely manner, I will try to walk at least 3-4 times a week and I will pray will I go for a walk. I pray to God that my "fake it till I get it" plan works, because it sucks to continue living in this way. I have overcome so much, specially when my health is concern, that I am sure there is a bigger purpose for me. Again, thank you so much for your uplifting words and for sharing your experience. God bless - F

  6. #6
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    Re: CKD and Depression

    I think that you were addressing that question to Flip, but since I'm up I hope you don't mind that I answer. Yes. Many people are able to work while on dialysis. They usually have a later shift - 3 - 6 p.m. or so. Many employers will work with you. There is also the option of home dialysis and PD which allows more freedom. At stage 4 you can slow the progression of the disease with diet. Low phosphorous, potassium, protein and sodium.

  7. #7
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    Re: CKD and Depression

    Depression is real and quite prevalent when given an abundance of medical challenges. I get it. I have had medical problem my entire life. Born with a tumor. Had a urostomy bag since birth. Many, many surgeries. Many tumors. Wasn't supposed to live many times over. Beat all of the odds. I believe that God has us here for a reason. I had an Indiana Pouch 10 years ago. Was not a candidate. Led to renal failure. Was paralyzed due to lack of potassium. Almost died again. But, you know, God is good and although we may not understand it we are put through stuff for a reason. You have overcome so much. You are strong. Prayer is awesome and works for sure. But, you know God made researchers and Doctors who made anti-depression meds and anti-anxiety drugs for a reason. "Fake it 'til you Make it" is one of my favorite sayings and, you know, it works; But, Please talk to your doctor about how you are feeling. Sometimes we all need a little help and when you have been through all of the things that you have it just becomes a bit overwhelming. You can fake it but do think about getting some pharamcuetical help as well as the prayer. Again, we are here...So many others with words of wisdom and great spirits and amazing stories...

  8. #8
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    Re: CKD and Depression

    Quote Originally Posted by Samson'sMom View Post
    Depression is real and quite prevalent when given an abundance of medical challenges. I get it. I have had medical problem my entire life. Born with a tumor. Had a urostomy bag since birth. Many, many surgeries. Many tumors. Wasn't supposed to live many times over. Beat all of the odds. I believe that God has us here for a reason. I had an Indiana Pouch 10 years ago. Was not a candidate. Led to renal failure. Was paralyzed due to lack of potassium. Almost died again. But, you know, God is good and although we may not understand it we are put through stuff for a reason. You have overcome so much. You are strong. Prayer is awesome and works for sure. But, you know God made researchers and Doctors who made anti-depression meds and anti-anxiety drugs for a reason. "Fake it 'til you Make it" is one of my favorite sayings and, you know, it works; But, Please talk to your doctor about how you are feeling. Sometimes we all need a little help and when you have been through all of the things that you have it just becomes a bit overwhelming. You can fake it but do think about getting some pharamcuetical help as well as the prayer. Again, we are here...So many others with words of wisdom and great spirits and amazing stories...
    Thanks again. I have an appointment on October 15, I am planning on talking to my doctor about it, because I think that my depression is getting worse as my ckd gets worse. I hope i'm not keeping you up, but where am at is 8:00 at night. God bless you again for all the words of encouragement, which today I needed to hear more than ever - reason why I fell into this site.

  9. #9
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    Re: CKD and Depression

    Hi!

    Hope you don't mind my jumping in at this late date when you've already had so many helpful posts. I learned many years ago that simply admitting we have depression is difficult so you have pretty much made it. So many people look at depression as a weakness and not as the disease that it is. I did that suffered as did my family during that time. Depression is a disease that impacts the way we look at life and that in turn impacts how we do during predialysis periods and dialysis. I have seen people give up because the depression caused them to look at their lives in such a negative way. Dialysis will be doomed to failure if your attitude is one of giving up before you start. My dialysis was relatively trouble free and I firmly believe that was due to the fact that I approached it with a positive attitude and that was due to my antidepressants. My transplant has also been relatively problem free though at this time I have several major issues going on in my life and my positive attitude is slipping a bit. Not to worry but it will be back! I would say the telling factor in your case that depression is a major issue is that even your family doesn't inspire the desire to not let kidney disease destroy you. I now have my first granddaughter, born after my transplant and I am sooooo inspired to live on and grasp every moment with zest. Definitely speak to your neph and tell him exactly how you feel. You have so much to gain but so much to lose too. God bless you and will keep you in our thoughts~
    "Within every adversity lies a slumbering possibility"
    Linda
    Tx: 7/28/2005
    St. Louis University Hospital

  10. #10
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    Re: CKD and Depression

    Frannie, there is one other dual prong prescription that I don't think I'v seen sent to you.
    Exercise will help the depression. I don't mean just do as much as you can, but grow stronger as time passes. Get your dr's Ok and then go for it.
    I am positive that it will delay stage 5 and I know you can't be depressed while you are working your body harder than it wants. From personal experience.
    Then continue as you get on dialysis, if you ever do, and it makes any form of dialysis easier to bear physically.
    Don't be reluctant to get medical help, it will help you and also your loved ones.
    May God have mercy on us all

    CK

    Idiopathic globular membranous nephritis 1999-2006
    Feb 2006 Dx about 1-2 yrs before dialysis. Dialysis start 6-2006
    Chest Cath 4 mos in center hemo dialysis
    Fistula, button holes, self stick days 07-09 in center hemo
    Graft nocturnal hemo 4Q09 to present

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