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  • How much more.... :(

    I am so frustrated - My husband has been on dialysis for 5 years (peritoneal, clinic hemo and now transitioning to home hemo). We are in our mid-thirties and have a young son. I'm so darn tired, and probably selfish too. We both work full time.....and now I will be serving as his care-giver 5-6 nights a week, work and take care of our child. No one gets it- I am loosing my complete freedom. Currently, when he goes to the clinic at night 3xweek, they serve as his caregiver and I spend time with our son, running errands, normal wife/mother duties. Now that he will be doing HHD, I'm responsible for his care. Yes, the HHD is suppose to be gentler, extend his life expectancy, and make him feel better. If I dare complain to anyone, they don't get it, think I'm selfish, don't see what I am giving up, or just feel bad for him for being hooked up every night. I am beginning to feel resentful, angry, frustrated.....every emotion in the books! Please tell me I'm not alone...is it going to get better?

  • #2
    Your not alone, just breathe! There are many of us that are doing the same thing you are doing for your husband. My husband is on peritoneal dialysis every night for 9.5 hours at home since May of last year. We are both 53 and our lives were turned upside down fours years ago when he had a heart attack and that is when when found out he had health issues. Until that time he never took a pill. Now he has a defibrillator implanted for the heart and on dialysis.We both still work every day 8+ hours and commute 80 mile a day for work. The alarm goes off at 4:30 am every morning and I help him disconnect then its off to work, we get home about 5:15 each day he showers and gets in bed and I connect him to his dialysis. Then I fix us something for dinner in bed. Most nights he doesn't feel like eating because he is too tried. It's like a vicious cycle every day. But we get through it, and you have to keep them strong. If you are religious that helps. I know God will not give us more than we can handle. Stay strong and try to make a little time for yourself.

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    • #3
      I am just starting the hemodialysis with my 84 year old dad. Nothing but stress. Moms upset over everything my brother does nothing and i am expected to do everything with my husband in end stage liver failure. I sure hope things get better.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Jmcraft View Post
        I am just starting the hemodialysis with my 84 year old dad. Nothing but stress. Moms upset over everything my brother does nothing and i am expected to do everything with my husband in end stage liver failure. I sure hope things get better.
        Hi Jmcraft, I just wanted to welcome to you to myDaVita! I hope your father's hemodialysis is going well and that he's feeling better! It can be a very difficult and stressful time for the whole family. Have you spoken with a local social worker? It may be helpful to find the support your looking for. You can also find additional support in these forums and speak with others who are going through the same thing. Please let me know if you have any questions with myDaVita, there are some great kidney diet tools and educational resources to help as well.

        Your community manager,
        Kelsey

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        • #5
          I really feel for you, having to work and parent a child. Is your hubby in a position to take on a lot of the HHD tasks himself? The more the person on dialysis can do and the less they rely on the caregiver, the better.

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          • #6
            I am getting to ask my wife to do HHD with me I know it is a lot to ask of her. She has become my care giver. After my stroke she has had to do a lot for me. I am on disability so I do not have to worry about work, my wife still works 5 days a week. I feel sometimes it is not fair to ask her to take on more responsibly, but what else can I do?

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