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I hate Dialysis

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  • #16
    Starting Dialysis

    Yeah, and you guys all want to know why I am DELAYING?? It's posts like this that scare the crap out of me. Sometimes I think it's better to wait. If dialysis isn't doing anything for these people, why should I start?

    I had hope going into this soon and when I read these posts, I simply get a headache, log out and want to go home and crawl under my bed.

    Hope fades on the premise that there is no faith in the system.

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    • #17
      So sorry you all hate dialysis. My husband would sure be happy to be back on dialysis. He passed away due to complications. You don't have to take an overdose of pills - stop dialysis and it will be over in a few weeks.

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      • #18
        Ah, c'mon now...cheer up! Nearly all my life without kidneys...it is a struggle but you have to be a fighter, not a quitter. There's so much in life to enjoy...regardless of the pain and suffering there's so much more to enjoy. Believe in yourself, its not the end. You just gotta accept and adjust, takes time..


        Originally posted by bangingbuck View Post
        It has been a while since my last post and unfortunately things have'nt gotten better, my fistula clotted so I had to get a graft (thank God I avoided a catheter). As bad as I find dialysis not having anybody to talk to who understands is frustrating. Family and friends are just glad I am alive so my feelings about how that is achieved are meaningless, they dismiss my complaints with "it's keeping you alive". It's hard to look forward to a transplant that may only give me 10-15yrs and then back to more dialysis. I would like to see my sons grow up and have kids of their own, but 20yrs of this (the thought of 20yrs of this) is I think more than I can take. I think that's the problem, this situation is for the rest of your life, if I were an old man I could take it better. The old guys at the center laugh and smile and I just resent them for their positve attitudes, they lived a full life and I was just getting to the good part of mine. I have never been a feel sorry for myself kind of guy but this is tough. I can't smile it away, I keep fighting with no end in site.
        My Blog Site
        Http://www.dailyhemo.org
        sigpic

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        • #19
          Every person, every care and every situation is different.
          While Bob was still in the hospital after his transplant, there was a lady there who has had her kidney 28 years!! She was there for aother reason, not related to that kidney at all.
          So who knows? you may get far longer than 10-15 years.

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          • #20
            I know quite a few people who have been on dialysis over 30 years.
            Whatever does not kill me makes me stronger...Neitzsche
            Flip

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            • #21
              I think part of the solution lies in not visualizing so far into the future. Live one day at a time and the process seems less daunting. BTW, I found the true value of numbing cream the other day. I had to have my fistula cleaned out and the vascular surgeon was running late. The consequence was that I had to go directly to dialysis without going home to put on my numbing cream as I had planned. The stick hurt a LOT more without the cream. That is not to scare you newbies and those of you who have yet to start dialysis. It is to say that the numbing cream helps a lot with the pain of the sticks and I didn't realize quite HOW much until I was forced to go without.
              To the stars through difficulty!

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              • #22
                ???

                not yet on diales nor do I have my fischla can you explan what you meen by gitting your fischla cleaned?

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                • #23
                  Lidocaine.....

                  chefnancy....If you ever have to go to the center without the cream, ask for lidocaine, thats all i ever use.

                  Never tried the cream, I guess because I never know where i will be or what i will be doing prior to going to the center.
                  " GO AHEAD, MAKE MY DAY"-Dirty Harry

                  (fspencer@bak.rr.com)

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                  • #24
                    The cream works much better. I haven't felt a stick in ages. It's also very expensive if your insurance won't cover it.
                    Whatever does not kill me makes me stronger...Neitzsche
                    Flip

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                    • #25
                      My vascular surgeon will not allow our center to give the lidocaine injections as he says they cause scarring that interferes with the smooth operation of fistulas. I know that other centers have different opinions, but for me it is the cream or nothing. Fortunately I have not had any problem getting it covered by insurance.
                      Cbethel, a fistula is a joining of a vein and an artery, usually in your non-dominant arm. They can get clots and narrowing, so periodically you have to go have the vascular surgeon do an angiogram (similar to what they do on heart vessels) on your fistula to keep it flowing properly. It is a very minor operation unless you let it go and your fistula gets plugged up. Then it becomes an emergency.
                      To the stars through difficulty!

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                      • #26
                        I Hate.....Man that is a scary start to anything

                        Dialysis has been easy for me to get used to and I am not sure why. The needles are not a problem as I decided to do without the cream and that worked well. So then I went to button holes and that got rid of the pain altogether. Life was just becoming pleasant and all of a sudden I acquired Pulmonary Hypertension.
                        With dialysis if I follow the rules on diet and liquid, its just a waste of 4 hrs 3 days a week and I come out feeling fine.
                        With PH I have no idea when I wake up if I'll be able to get up or if I'm going to be bed ridden all day. The uncertainty is bad and lying in bed is worse. I almost don't like it but it is what I am and if I hate it it is worse. So every day is a surprise and some of them are good, few but some.
                        I use Oxygen at 4-6 liters/min. Mainly that means you're not mobile.
                        Each has to live with their own demons and the smiley old guys smile because they are old enough to know that it makes no difference if you smile or cry, dialysis is non negotiable so a smile feels better.
                        Just remember, dialysis and PH could be incurable cancer.
                        May God have mercy on us all

                        CK

                        Idiopathic globular membranous nephritis 1999-2006
                        Feb 2006 Dx about 1-2 yrs before dialysis. Dialysis start 6-2006
                        Chest Cath 4 mos in center hemo dialysis
                        Fistula, button holes, self stick days 07-09 in center hemo
                        Graft nocturnal hemo 4Q09 to present

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                        • #27
                          One of my dialysis mates has PH and she does pretty well with it although she always takes a while to get her BP up after dialysis.
                          Whatever does not kill me makes me stronger...Neitzsche
                          Flip

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                          • #28
                            What exactly is this cream you are talking about, and where do I get it. My graft is in my upper arm a more sensitive area and I just grit my teeth for the stick so nurse are more gentle than others, but I would rather be stuck hard twice than softly three, four or five anyday. To the guy balking at starting dialysis I know exactly how you feel I avoided (somewhat successfully) like the plauge for three years because I am terrified of needles. The only reason I started is because my pottasium go so far out of whack I had to go to the emergency room where I was admitted to the hospital and dialized for the first time. I did not want to start either but was left with not much choice, in fact I avoided the ER for a week because I knew what was coming. I will say this to you as much as I hate it and I do hate I have never missed a treatment. When you get sick enough you will start dialysis and if you are hard headed like me it will probably take a trip to the ER, or you can learn from my ordeal and start on your own terms.

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                            • #29
                              The most popular brand is EMLA but there are several others out there. It's 2.5% prilocaine and lidocaine. It's Rx in the U.S. but OTC thru Canadian Pharmacies. I put it on an hour before dialysis and cover it with a teflon pad with adhesive tabs. I never feel the sticks.
                              Whatever does not kill me makes me stronger...Neitzsche
                              Flip

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                I know the feeling

                                When I first started dialysis in 2005 just walking into the center would cause me to bust out crying. I didnt understand and was hurt. The learning stage of getting my dry weight was the worst time. Then I would get so axious towards the end of my treatment and my heartrate would go sky high. Now for me it has gotten easier to be there because I had my doctor give me a prescription to help me relax. It works great. I take two before I leave to the unit and it kicks in soon as I get there and I sleep until 30 minutes before my session is over and I have felt better about being there, however I still feel a lil sick when Ieave but I dont cry anymore, well not all the time. Im a mother of three kids and if it were not for them I would stop going. Also my mom has lost 3 sons over the last 4 years and I wouldnt want to put her thru that, but if it were only me I would have quit long ago but thats just how I feel.

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