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Tired of Dialysis -- Feel like I can't do this anymore

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  • Tired of Dialysis -- Feel like I can't do this anymore

    I have been on dialysis since July 2018. I am so tired of sitting there every other day, unable to stand up, move my arms or simply go to the bathroom. The nurses and techs do nothing to help. The lidocaine does not numb the area and every treatment hurts like hell. If you move your arm, an alarm goes off. Just when you get near the end they have to change the bicarb and you are stuck in that chair for another 10 minutes and then you have to wait another 30 minutes to be unhooked. I'm not enjoying life and I am angry all the time. I didn't ask for kidney cancer or end stage renal disease (no one does). I just want it all to end. I feel like I don't want to be here anymore.

  • #2
    I know you didn't ask for any of this, but I can tell you it gets better. I have now been on Dialysis for 20 months, and at about month 6 I too was ready to just "be done" with all of it. I talked with the Social Worker at my clinic (who has since left after having a baby) and since then have treated dialysis as a part time job that I never applied for, don't get paid for, and can't quit! This attitude has helped me stay committed to treatment (not missing any) and makes it easier to tell people about my treatment.

    If you are still going through treatment for the cancer I know that can also impact your life. My experience with chemo was more difficult than dialysis!! Please keep fighting- it really does get better. Feel free to drop me a message if you want to talk more!

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Itzchel View Post
      I have been on dialysis since July 2018. I am so tired of sitting there every other day, unable to stand up, move my arms or simply go to the bathroom. The nurses and techs do nothing to help. The lidocaine does not numb the area and every treatment hurts like hell. If you move your arm, an alarm goes off. Just when you get near the end they have to change the bicarb and you are stuck in that chair for another 10 minutes and then you have to wait another 30 minutes to be unhooked. I'm not enjoying life and I am angry all the time. I didn't ask for kidney cancer or end stage renal disease (no one does). I just want it all to end. I feel like I don't want to be here anymore.
      I'm sorry that you have to go through what you are going through for now! I can only say that I've been through the same thing for several months and can say that I have most of my life back and that it gets better with time and understanding your treatments. Its a necessary process that you can't give up on. When you dont feel like getting up GET UP! I am on a 10 1/2 hour treatment 7 days a week and I go to work for almost 10 hours 5 days a week. Once my treatments over in the morning instead of staying in the bed like most do. I GET UP and go to work every day! My Coworkers and BOSS ask me why don't I just medically retire? I tell them I can't! Its not in me to let this beat me! I didnt ask for this, but I have it for now and I choose life! Hopefully this will motivate you a little to just live? I work in a prison as an Administrator of 659 offenders in my area and a facility of 1856 convicted felons if I can go in there every day and work you can GET UP! STAY 💪

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      • #4
        I have been on hemo dialysis for 14 years and I still hate it every single time. It is ruining my health by giving me high blood pressure and Afib. My fistula has, thank God, been working all these years but my hand is numb. My back is wrecked from sitting all that time. I have been turned down for transplant at 3 different centers. I wonder how long one can live on dialysis? My doctor said forever s long as I can take it. The only thing left to do is quit and die. I can't see losing my kids and Grandkids and they don't want to lose me so I go.

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        • #5
          I've been on dialysis since 2011. At the beginning it was rough, but it gets better if you listen and practice what your care team is telling you. Watching your diet, getting some exercise and not missing your treatments will make things go smoother. Keep with it!

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          • #6
            Hello my name is Ramona, I have been on dialysis since January 2017, It has been a journey, I can tell you that. Please don't ever get discouraged to give up, It does get better. The procedures in itself is extremely difficult, But it does help us to continue living. I am going to finally take responsibility for my own actions, Disobedience with Diabetes for 20-30 years has paid off, didn't listen then but must listen now. Someone.once said that Life is what you make of it,you, oh how I understand that now. They taught us in middle school about decent eating habits, portion control, exercise, but I didn't listen, oh how I look forward to see the dietician now, they really helps. You cant be stuck in your ways, must be open to ..listen, learn, and obey, It does pay off

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            • #7
              Have you looked into home Dialysis that would give control of things and no one to ***** about

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