Just wish I had someone to talk to about how I feel someone that knows how depressing - Welcome to the myDaVita Kidney Disease and Dialysis Forums

Announcement

Announcement Module
Collapse
No announcement yet.

Just wish I had someone to talk to about how I feel someone that knows how depressing

Page Title Module
Collapse
X
Conversation Detail Module
Collapse
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Just wish I had someone to talk to about how I feel someone that knows how depressing

    I fill alone sometimes feel like the grim reaper has a target on me .. I just want to give in give up I have been cut open 3 times for this fistula. No pain pills my arm is killing me.I don't want to live the rest of my life on a machine. No one around me gets that all my family says they don't want to lose me but no one calls or comes by and I sit here alone everyday just wasting away waiting to die.I am so lost in life........

  • #2
    Hello 9toejoe, there is usually someone online here that you can talk to...mabe not so early in the morning though.. so instead of waiting for your family members to call you, why don't you call them? Have you talked to your doctor about the pain in your arm? sounds like you are going thru a difficult time, we all do at some point, you just gotta get past it.
    well, I"m going to try to get back to sleep (I never sleep thru the whole night) wish I could say have a cup of coffee :-) I've had to give up coffee, my gall bladder doesn't like it and I'm trying to keep it happy so I don't have to go thru surgery for it to be removed. on the plus side, I've lost almost 40 lbs by not eating anything fried :-) visit with you later

    Comment


    • #3
      Hello 9toejoe I agree with patricia there is usually someone here you can talk to. I have to say YES your family and friends can't understand what you are going through. But just because they don't call you doesn't mean they don't care. There are many reasons why people pull away. They don't know what to say and they are busy with there lives. In my opinion when you feel your worst you focus on how bad everything is and forget other people are moving forward with there lives unlike anyone who is miserable. Call your family and tell them how you feel. It may just be they don't really understand how bad you feel. Tell your doctor how bad/depressed you feel. He may be able to give you something for your depression and pain. You have to speak up. Remember the squeaky wheel get the grease. Worrying every day just makes you waste every day. Look around and try to enjoy what you can. Okay I am starting to sound a bit sappy but even at stage 3 I have been in your shoes. When I found out I had kidney disease I was blindsided. I was the woman who was going to live to be 100. (I am still Hopeful) I went through crying,anger,depression and now back to trying to enjoy myself again. I haven't even got to dialysis yet but since reading and talking to a lot of people on here and reading on other websites I am more hopeful about my future. You will be able to do it. It will get better as you learn more. Here are a few other websites that might help.
      ihatedialysis.com
      Kidneybuzz.com
      also patientslikme.com (this one doesn't get as much traffic though) Maybe these will help you out. In the mean time stay with us and know there are others that have been where your at and pulled through to live there lives again and enjoy there lives. Sorry to ramble on just want to lend my support. Be good to yourself.

      Comment


      • #4
        Wow that is interesting, I only have 9 toes also. Lost one after the scuba diving incident.

        Comment


        • #5
          9toejoe, I can really identify with all of the things you wrote about. I have a lot of days that I am tired of the dialysis, I just want my life back. My week is taken up by the dialysis and traveling back and forth. I decided to come onto the forums for support. I have days where my attitude is much better and I can recognize that the dialysis is keeping me alive while I wait for a kidney. It's not an easy road for most of us but I just wake up each day and put one foot in front of the other and carry on.

          Comment


          • #6
            this is fromjeb@64/ I am not on dialysis,yet. My kidney Doc, was saying I was doing good. I started having bowl problems.

            So his suggestion was a catscan of my kidneys,I was also having pain in my right side. But my left kidney is the one they

            said was the bigger one. Anyway after the cat-scan I had an ultrasound of my kidneys. They found a sisk or maybe 2 on my

            left kidney,but they did that scan with no contrast. My kidney doc sent me to an Urologist So they say there are ways to protect

            your kidneys from the dye,and boy it taste awful. So it has been 2 weeks since the last ultrasound. This is Friday and I am to

            see the urologist on Monday.. I am worried, and depressed. No one has told me a thing. I have been patient.but I reallly

            can't take it to much longer!! The letter was really for 9toejoe. Prayer helps alot as does being thankful to God,and

            prasing God a lot. I am manic/depressive, and my family very seldom calls me.,we , my brother and sisters live just within miles

            of each other. signing off at 10:16 p.m. CST.
            Last edited by jebat64; 02-05-2016, 10:15 PM. Reason: Feb.5,2016 reply to 9 toejoe

            Comment


            • #7
              hi 9toejoe listen you sound just like me two years ago I shut completely down went into deep depression but it can be done don't give up. I will be glad to talk to you if you have FaceBook you can reach me there faster but I'll come back here to talk to you once we speak I don't have a problem giving you my cell phone number to help and don't get me wrong it will help me also so hang in there please we can live on dialysis a long time. looking forward to talking to you and getting help from you as well. p.s. my name is John Thornton

              Comment


              • #8
                If anyone is having problems with depression go to a general practitioner. Don't waste your time talking to your centers social workers. Most don't know anything about depression, also don't expect answers from anyone that works for Davita on this site. They check the site about every 6 months maybe. They are supposed to have moderators, but dang if you will ever hear from one.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Hi, Loganwagon. If anyone is struggling with depression, we strongly recommend that they do speak with their social worker and seek additional help from a counselor or licensed therapist. The moderators on this site are not able to give medical advice. We hope that this site allows you to gain support and advice from others who may have similar experiences.
                  Please reach out to our Guest Services team at GuestServices@DaVita.com or by calling 1-800-400-8331 if you do not feel properly supported by the social worker at your center.

                  Thank you,
                  Caitlyn

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    HI LOGANWAGON. I HAVE BEEN VERY DEPRESSED SINCE I STARTED DIALYSIS IN AUGUST 7,2015. WENT TO THE HOSPITAL AUGUST 3, 2015 BECAUSE I COULD NOT BREATH. WALKED INTO ER, AND I HATE MY NO LIFE. SINCE I HAVE NOW COME HOME ----I GO 3 DAYS A WEEK FOR DIALYSIS. 1 DAY A WEEK FOR A MENTAL HEALTH THERAPIST, AND 1 DAY FOR OTHER DR.S APPOINTMENTS. HEY THEN WE HAVE THE WEEKEND. ALOT OF THE TIME I FEEL THAT I HAVE 2 DAYS TO SLEEP OR REST. I DON'T ENJOY THESE DAYS, I AM TO TIRED. AND YOU KNOW I LOST MY BFF THAT I HAVE HAD FOR 15 YEARS, YOU KNOW IT WAS ALL OVER AN ARGUEMENT. I HAVE NOT SEEN MY BROTHER AND SISTER SINCE NEW YEARS EVE. LOST BOTH PARENTS. I LIVE WITH MY CARE-TAKER. WE NOW ARGUE MORE, AND I FEEL THAT I HAVE LOST HER FRIENDSHIP. SO I NOW FEEL THAT I HAVE NO ONE TO PLEASE DON'T FEEL ALONE, YOU ARE NOT. SO, A WEEK AGO I SPOKE TO OUR SOCIAL WORKER AND SHE TOLD ME THAT I HAD ALOT OF THINGS GOING ON NOW AND THAT I HAD TO LEARN HOW TO BE PATIENT. SO I CALLED THE DR. AND SHE PUT ME ON AN ANTIDEPRESSENT. ITS ONLY BEEN ABOUT 4 OR 5 DAYS BUT I FEEL ALITTLE BETTER I THINK WHEN YOU ARE NOT FINDING SOMEONE ,TO SPEAK TO, I THINK THAT IS WHAT YOU SHOULD TRY AT LEAST. ASK ABOUT FINDING A THERAPIST IN YOUR COMMUNITY, AND COULD SHE PLEASE HELP ME FIND SOMEONE. I THINK YOU WOULD FEEL BETTER, WE ALL NEED SOMEONE. TRY AND REMAIN POSITIVE THIS SHOULD ALSO HELP. THEN TRY AND PUT 1 FOOT FORWARD AND DON'T EXPECT EVERYTHING OVER NIGHT, THATS WHAT I AM NOW LEARNING HOW TO DO. IT IS POSSIBLE I AM TOLD. I DID NOT MEAN TO TELL YOU ALL OF MY PROBLEMS, I JUST WANTED TO REACH OUT AND LET YOU KNOW YOU ARE NOT ALONE EVER. SIGNED YOUR HOPEFUL NEW FRIEND. SUNGOLD. THIS I THINK IS MY NAME FOR THIS SITE ANYWAY. 2-20-16

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      THIS IS FOR LOGANWON I AM SORRY I DID NOT SPELL YOU NAME RIGHT. PLEASE FORGIVE ME. AND OH DID YOU TRY AND SAY SOMETHING POSITIVE? YOU CAN DO IT I PROMISE YOU THAT. HAVE A GOOD EVENING. SUNGOLD

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Um, Sunfold....There is a button on the left side of your keyboard marked "caps lock". Please, press it once, the leave it that way.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Hi everyone, please add or message me on facebook my name is KAren Gibson, and I live in spring hill fl. I would love to talk to other dialysis people, my email is kngr96 in case you cant find me. Thank you. And I was depressed too, your family doesnt understand what you're feeling or going thru. Dialysis 3 times a week for 4 hours sucks.

                          Comment

                          Back to Top
                          Working...
                          X