One option I DO have is this; I can force my kidneys into final failure, and suddenly qualify for disability. I figure a good pot of my favorite chili recipe, eaten for 2 days right before taking my monthly blood test would probably push me just enough over the edge so that my potassium level will finally be too high, and I will start dialysis. From that day, I can qualify for SS disability, and sit on my fat-@$$ and pull in roughly the same amount that unemployment currently pays me (but will only pay for a few more weeks). It doesn't seem like much of an existence, but it's better than total financial ruin.
It's ironic, considering how healthy I am otherwise, to consider making myself legally a cripple, only because nobody will hire me. Yet it looks like it may be my only choice. I don't know what to expect if I do declare myself to be disabled, nor whether I will ever get myself OUT of being disabled. I'm tired, mad, and scared, and thoroughly disgusted with my entire lot in life right now. What will happen to me?
Any suggestions or advice?