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  • #46
    Re: Jokes

    Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead and one's a blonde.

    The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

    She says no and the executioner shouts, ''Ready! Aim!'' Suddenly the brunette yells, ''EARTHQUAKE!!!'' Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.

    The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no and the executioner shouts, ''Ready! Aim!'' Suddenly the redhead yells, ''TORNADO!!!'' Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes.

    By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the executioner shouts, Ready! Aim!'' and the blonde yells, ''FIRE!!!'''
    I received the GIFT OF LIFE on Nov 9, 2010 thanks to my wonderful donor Laura and her family!

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    • #47
      Originally posted by Marina View Post
      HOW TO INSTALL A SOUTHERN HOME SECURITY SYSTEM
      1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of man's used size 14-16 work boots.
      2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine
      3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
      4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

      Bubba,

      Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour.
      Don't mess with the pit bulls; they attacked the mail man this morning and
      messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell
      from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.

      Better wait outside. Be right back.

      Cooter
      Now there are many companies that offering the security system that are easy to install and you can do it yourself.But some of them are really difficult to install because they have a lot of wiring and other things that make it complex.But what you think which will be the best?
      http://www.yellowpages.com.au/qld/ka...6-listing.html
      Last edited by Morkal85; 10-30-2013, 01:55 AM.

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      • #48
        Hahahaha...Nice Jokes

        Refreshed my mind.

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        • #49
          Doctor told me I had six months to live. I said Doc, I can't possibly pay your bill in that amount of time! Doctor gave me another six months.

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          • #50
            What's the difference between God and doctors? God doesn't think he's a doctor.

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            • #51
              JUST WHAT THE DOCTOR ORDERED!!!! I laughed so hard that I cried!! Thank you all for the boost!!

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