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Dealing with the mood swings of your partner and loosing who you once were....

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  • Dealing with the mood swings of your partner and loosing who you once were....

    I know it has been a battle since my husbands diagnoses almost 14 years ago, of FSGS (Focal Segmental Glomerulosclerosis) which lead to loosing his kidneys in his early 40's. Then on dialysis for 2 years, a transplant which lasted almost 9 years and now back on dialysis. A fistula not working, and cancer on his toes. Yes, very overwhelming not only for him for the whole family. How can one he be so bitter and want to stop living. He does not want professional help, and I have lost any strength of understanding him and being by his side. We have two beautiful teenagers, who are going through a difficult time seeing their dad like this. I've been verbally abused from I once called this man my husband. I have arranged to seek help for myself and children. I ask myself everyday, am I'm being selfish for starting to look out and take care of myself and kids to survive what I call craziness?

  • #2
    I'm so sorry. I have suffered depression myself and got to the hospital when my thoughts were getting dark. Its hard to lead people to therapy. Does his docs know? Maybe they can give him something to help. Its a hard road. With being sick and med side effects. I got tired of hearing all the stupid things people say. "You'll feel better soon". Or the dreaded snap out of it. I have skin cancer on my arms and back I'm sorry you and your family and your husband are going through this. Is there a chance for another transplant?

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    • #3
      Sorry your family is going through this, the comment above is right on, yes people will say a lot of stupid stuff, you have to ignore them.

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      • #4
        You are so right. ignorance sometimes even if it is not in us, is the only thing left that will keep us from individuals stupid actions. Thank you for reminding me!!

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        • #5
          I too have came across this with my husband as well and it's very hard hearing when he is in his moods that he wants to give up. We have been on dialysis for about 3 years now went from home pd to hemo just recently due to him not doing PD adequately. We are also waiting to get put on the list for a transplant but he also needs a liver. It is very tiresome and stressful as we have kids that are 19,15,10 and they hate hearing that he just wants to give up or not do what it takes to get on the transplant list. Now on top of this I have to deal with our 2 oldest having health issues as well. I just need a break.

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          • #6
            My eGFR is 19. I am not bitter, don't have depression,or any anxiety. I ave always been and still am a very "up" person. I try and find joy in everything. I love my family and know they love me and so it is easier to makmy own choices for my life and body. I know my family wouldn't want me to suffer more once I hit my limet. I have CHOSEN not to do dialysis or a transplant even though I have been offered kidneys. My choice, my body. I am not giving up, I am choosing what is right for me. My Dad chose to go off dialysis and I supported him, only he knew what he was going through so i respected his choices. Now its my turn an the family is respecting my choices. Yes I have a child, 14 yes old. Just thought I would give my side of the story as a CKD patient. Best wishes.

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